THE ANGRY FICUS REVIEWS : "LEXX"

LEXX is this TV show running on the Science Fiction Channel. Anyone else out there seen it? [Just as I suspected, I am the only plant in Seattle who has cable which would explain why Millenium Digital charges me so much damn money for it.]

LEXX originated in Canada in 1997 and started playing in the U.S. in 2000. And it is still on the air here. Despite the fact every show that aired in the U.S. the first year was porn thinly disguised as science fiction.

I guess the Christian Coalition is not big on the Science Fiction Channel so totally missed this one they were probably too busy blaming homosexuals for the New York plane crashes. Meanwhile their teenage sons with bad skin were home watching LEXX which for the first year was all about a virgin sex slave trying to find someone to have sex with; a dead assassin who is still, although dead, ambulatory, and not interested in having sex but lots of people want to have sex with him; and a man in an unattractive hat who is not smart but has keys to the most dangerous rocket ship in the universe [which by the way is shaped like a bug] trying to find [tell me if you have heard this before] someone to have sex with. None of the crew members do find anyone to have sex with that fist year the show aired in the U.S., but they all try real hard and visit planets where lots of other characters do have sex a lot and oh by the way sodomize a robot head that travels with them.

That is year one. And most of year two.

Now though LEXX has graduated to something new. The bad boys writing it I will assume got bored with getting away with fobbing off pornography as science fiction and as long as the show IS now airing in the U.S. -- no more porn. Instead the show has turned into America bashing being fobbed off as science fiction. [I guess Canadians are still mad about that let's bomb Canada song at the Oscars.] All the shows these days revolve around the virgin sex slave, man in the unattractive hat, and dead guy being stuck on Planet Earth dealing with very stupid Americans, a very stupid and incompetent and sex crazed American President, his very stupid and under dressed wife, and a crazed and evil ATF leader who really runs the country since the very stupid incompetent sex crazed president is not up to the job.

Fun huh?

Not really. But at least there are no stupid plants in it. Not even one of those dumb geraniums.

—Ficus